Nobody ever said that having Multiple Sclerosis would be fun. I thought I knew what I was in for when we started chasing symptoms down six years ago. Oh, I had no idea.
Losing the feeling in my fingertips became the new normal. A few weeks ago, I was absolutely rejoicing when I had feeling in the fingertips of my left hand. That was short lived. And the chronic fatigue once wasn’t as bad as it is now. It seems I’m always tired, and I certainly turn into a pumpkin much earlier than I used to.
It wasn’t all that long ago that I’d be turning off the alarm clock and landing on my feet all in the same breath. Those days are long gone. I have to sit up on the end of my bed for a moment to get my equilibrium before standing up now. And then I can get up to take Reggie outside.
This is the new normal. It’s not fun. But it’s the hand I was dealt. I’m not complaining. This disease can be devastating, and I could have been dealt a MUCH worse hand. My rate of progression is relatively slow. Most of my symptoms are sensory. Very few of my symptoms are functional, aside from the random balance issues. I’m okay with this. I’m not in a wheelchair, and I’m not using a cane. Yeah, I’m perfectly okay with that.
The past few weeks, I’ve been under some stress and pressure. I have no doubt that it’s related to my current fatigue. But a good, relaxing weekend helps that. This week is our annual SOX audit at work. Getting through that will be another burden off my shoulders.
Today is one of those days where I feel like my energy supply is going to be depleted by noon. Under normal circumstances, I’d have taken the day off work. But with auditors here, it’s not that easy. I’m going to push myself to my practical limits and then it’s time to stop. History has taught me the costs of pushing myself too far. I can spend an afternoon in bed or I can spend the rest of the week in bed. I’ll take the former, thank you.